Maybe it's me? I don't know..Just somethings been off about him. Maybe it's the headaches...Maybe his chest? Like, I don't know. He wont /tell/ me anymore. I feel like I've worn out that friendship between us. Fuck...
I don't WANT that to happen..
Thats why I deny him so much, Because I don't want shit to get worn out so quickly, Because I don't want him to get tired of me. I'm probably gonna spend the day away...From him today. I feel like I'm wearing this out.
But I HATE...To not be around him. He keeps my temper calm, he keeps me occupied, Gives me something to focus on, to worry about, something to DO. I hate being at school, and the whole day wondering what we'll do that day, or What he'll say this time, or how he'll feel today. I hate having to go without hearing his voice, without hearing his heartbeat. It keeps me thinking that I'm alive, and not so alone. I'm afraid he'll do something again. (Drinking, or fighting wise) I feel like I should be there, to watch over him, Make sure he doesn't do something because of a thought he had.. I LIKE being there for him, but I feel like he's getting irritated of me. He complains about him being too clingy, when honestly, I don't mind it half the time. I just hold back my clingyness, because I fucking feel like ARIKA. I hate that too. Like seriously, I'm not her, so I need to not be like it. I mean, I'm not BEING like her, I can't stand being over baring.
Why does she always get brought back up. Fuck her dude, Seriously. She's nothing anymore.
I'm not worried about it. If he needs to tell me something, then he should just say it, don't worry about how I'll react about it, if anything, I'll laugh, or give you some seriousness on it.
Seeing him with kids is so adorable..Like You don't even know.
He needs to take a day off for himself. He's been saying that his body hurts, and that his head hurts, and how tired he is. THEN GO TO SLEEP DUMMEH. Jeez. how hard is that. Lol. He could have easily slept the whole day yesterday, but he didn't...Just stayed up, cuz his stomach hurt and shit.. Bleh..Nothing I can do about it.
The other day, he talked about going to Cleveland and getting fucked up. (Now I see why Arika was always afraid of that). Though I'm not AS worried about it. If he see's other chicks, Fine..Go for it. I just think he'd have the common sense not to do shit. Not to get too fucked up to where he doesn't know whats going on, To where they all start fighting and stupid shit.Eh, He'll be fine like usual. Probably get sick. Lol. I think I'll beat him next time I have to sit there and WATCH him be fucked up again. He said he didn't even know I was there half the time...Thaannkkss. I don't doubt it though. He was in and out of Consciousness the whole time.
One of these days...I swear -_-'''
Eh...I'm not that worried about it. If he knows whats good for him, He'll take it easy. I don't know. Just gonna go to school, and not think about it. Just gonna sit at home today...I'm turning too soft on him, I need to be the ME that I've always been around him...ME...Damn it. BE ME.The one to beat his ass when he was bein a lame-ass. The one to be there to talk to when he needs it. That friend that got along with him, but still respected him at the same time.
Ugh, My knee hurts...And I missed the bus, So I'll wait for my Master to wake up, and tell her to actually drive me to school. I actually WANT to go this time. It's getting boring staying home all day.
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