I'm held accountable for every Idle word.

So this mornin...

Oh what a morning THAT was. You cocky bastard.

I only got like, 5 hours of sleep last night. And it was funny XD Cuz I was in the middle of a damn dream, and something was knocking on the window, only to scar the hell out of me because their really /was/ someone at my window XD Which I didn't expect, honestly.. He was "asleep" Last time I knew, so I just went home and went to bed. Lol.

He was cold at first, so I let him in, he stole my bed, so I allowed that, he tried to STEAL it, and then thats when I drew the line mother fucker, haha. I dunno..It was nothing but talking for the most part, It's good to just relax, and talk for once. I'm not the type to just be all over you, just cuz I can. I mean- I CAN be like that if I wanted |D But it's whatever.

Haha, Arika just came to my window, and did nothing but blame me for her And Dawuane breaking up. Tech N9ne was blaring, so it kind of fueled me more, which was funny, because I don't think I've ever raised my voice that loud at her, ever. It feels so...Wrong to yell at her though, my loyalty is strong, and it sure as hell backfires on me bad. I just wanted to close her out, shut my window, and ignore all of it. I just..Wish she /didn't/ exist sometimes. He's single now, and I...Didn't think it would ever get to this point honestly, at least not this quickly. I don't know..What else to do now, I tried to help, Id didn't..Work..Very well, obviously, but at least I tried. Part of me feels like It happened just BECAUSE I tried to prevent it. Course, She can't give me any damn credit for that either. Nope, Just my fault. She blamed me for not being able to talk to him either apparently. Telling me how much he's lieing to me.. I just want all of it to dissapear. If we moved, I'd still be able to hang out with him, and not have to worry about Arika for the most part. At least I wouldn't have to deal with her being next DOOR. Instead she'd probably just prank my fucking house, but thats if she got the number.

I hate how she turns my sister against me, and how my sister just sell's me out completely. This..Two faced bullshit, needs to come to an end, so I'm just gonna start makin it to the point where no one fucking knows what the hells going on.

Anyway, besides her-

I've still got the image of him over me with the blanket on his shoulders. Just looking...Looking at my shitty looking self, ha.

I don't know why, damn it. I wont allow him to over power me so fucking easily. I can try..Lol. I'm dominating, and so is he? So..It causes ...Friction. Lol, so then it's just like a contest to see who will give in first. Sadly, he;s good at it.

I don't know...I tried not to think about it all day today. How far it even had gotten. I never even really...Imagined that sort of THING with him though..

I can tell he's upset..Besides the fact that it's radiating all the way here, from where he is. It's so strong...And heartfelt. He really is freaking out.

I knew this would happen, but I never really figured out what exactly..I'd do. We talked about it today too, about how he wanted to get all his shit from Arika's...About how he actually felt it coming on anyway. I knew he wasn't really...Looking forward to it, but.. Shit still happened. I just want the boy Happy. Whether it's with me, or...his alcohol. I hate leaving him alone, specially when he really needs someone to talk to. I shouldn't have gone home...But at the same time, maybe I should have. I don't want to smother him.. I'm already protective over him, and in return, I just,...Wish to be not lied to. Is that so much to ask for? Just don't lie to me...And we'll never have problems. I don't care what your doing, where your going, just don't lie about it, ya know?

Not that I know of if he has...Probably some small things, who knows.

I don't know, A lot of things are running through my head right now. This is turning into a terrible weekend. I don't know what to do.

He's gone offline.. I don't know what happened to him, or whats going on...I just hope he's alright. He'll probably talk to Mama about it for a while, I'ma take a shower, Might see him later? I don't know.. It's only Saturday.