Some bullshit.

Things have changed, Maybe...For better.
But the decision made last night, will be one I'll have to think about for a while.
I didn't...Really EXPECT him to do what he said he wasn't going to do...Lol..
I expected him to pull out like usual, And kind of hate himself for it,.
But last night, he didn't, And hated himself more for that fact.
Though part of me wonders if he even remembers it,
He wasn't THAT drunk, He has to of rememebred...
It was a big deal
A big fucking deal.
But why am I not afraid,?
Why am I not angry with him?
I don't understand myself.

What if I do end up getting pregnant because of the stupid decisions we make at the last minute..
What if I become the problem?
Will he leave like the rest?

Will he forever just leave me on my own?
Or will he step up,
And fix what he has done wrong?
Unless he DOESN'T regret it,
But why wouldn't he?
He is a guy.
A boy who is afraid of life's Consequences.
What will he do when this sort of thing does happen?
What if he can't have kids,
What if he does make a family..
What if he gets a job,
Where will he live,
When will he ever grow up?
What will he do without his family.

I don't think he knows how to....Live...
It's what I think about everyday.
I want to teach him how it is,
How it is to be on his own, He wont know till he's forced out.
But even when he is, He'll only go back.
He always does.

I wonder what he'll do when I get my own place,
Come stay with me?
Long a s he works and helps out, I wouldn't mind that, Specially if were still dating by then.
I'd love to have a fmaily with him.
He's a father in the making,
A perfect example of how to change.
Confusion between poetry and speech.

I love this boy,
To the point where I'd never abandon him,
Never cheat on him,
Never leave him for any reason.
No matter how angry he might try to make me,
No matter how many times he trys to push me away.
Why try and push me away in the first place?
He should know by now that I will never leave him alone.
I'm not like them,
He's so different.
I apologize if this is jumpy.

I want him to be the man I know he can be.
I want him to prove them all wrong,
Both of us,
Prove them all wrong about the both of us,
That he can change,
That I can change him,
That we'll be SMETHING in our lives,
That we'll survive. No matter what.

He's so strong, and he has no idea what he's capable of.
He's still young though,
Still has so much to learn.
Honestly, I hope he never goes anywhere,
I hope he never grows tired of me,
I hope he never stops loving me as much as he does,
I hope the nights where we just fall asleep in each others arms never ends.
I hope the passion never stops.

The thoughts of it ending in the next year, are frightening though.
But what problems do we honestly have?
My family is hard on him, yes,
But thats only because even they want him to make something of himself.
It's their motivation I guess.

I confess...I love you.
But will you always love me?
I don't want this to end.
And I'll sound like every other girl out there.
I just want to be yours,
Be able to love you the way I want to,
Be able to be with you, without any problems.
Liv life with you,
Create soemthing with you,.
I don't want you to leave,
I don't want to LOVE anyone else but you.
I don't want to FUCK anyone else but you,
It just seems strange....
Something I don't ever want to think about.
You even get along with my Personalities...
How good can this be?
Your fucking amazing to me, and thats all I feel like I can say.
Your simply amazing in every way possible.<3
And I'll continue to write poems about you.
I miss writing,
And I bet you do too :)
You should bring it back again.
Make up something new.