"Everything in my life"~

I'm just gonna let you in on a few things, that you probably doubt. Haha, you say some things that make me think some shit.
I don't mind it if your drinking, As long as you have FUN, and keep yourself occupied, you don't get emotional, And puke. Which is a good thing, I wish you would do that more. I kind of feel left out, but that's normal for a girlfriend to feel that way XP I know I'm not the COOLEST person to hang out with. I've noticed that once we started dating, I turned kind of soft, I started to stop fighting back, and I run from Malik now, instead of trying to fight him off,
It's not because I can run and hide behind you now, But it's because I feel like I would lose. Malik is pretty strong, you know that XD It hurts to be hit by him, I'm still pretty weak.

But that's besides the point.

To sum up my recent blog, I do feel kind of bad, I feel like I made you make the....Bad..Decision then you should have. Do you feel that way?
Do you wish you would have gone back and Changed for her?
Do you still think about what it would be like if you went back with her?
I can't help but be curious, You still like to bring her up.
Not that it bothers me, It just makes me think up questions I wish I could ask you, But never do. For fear that you might think I'm taking what you say the wrong way.
I'm not :)
We all have those thoughts, (Not me recently, But you know, Whatever)
I think about all the things you probably don't tell me,
Why you don't say them,
Why you feel like you have to hide it from me.
I know I'm an emo kid, But I deal a lot better with the Truth, then I do with made up bullshit, or lies,
Remember that I'm different from everyone else,
When others need to hear lies to feel better, I like to hear the truth, IT makes me feel better.
Lets me remember Reality, And that it involves change, and bettering myself.

I'm sorry if I seem to be a complete bitch recently, Like today? kicking the door because you said you were gonna drink anyway?
Yeah, My bad, I didn't mean to kick it so HARD like that, but it was kind of an impulse. You pissed me off damn it.
But you laughed, So...Lol I didn't think much of it. Haha
See, I never understood why Arika couldn't... Brush off the little comments, like you say to me.
Like how I'm a bitch, or how I'm "annoying" Or "Get off meehhh"
But I don't, Because I know you don't mean it.
It's called Sarcasm honey D:< She's annoying.

So...yeah. I enjoy you around.
Seriously.
I like it when you appear randomly at my window...To Apologize for something you could have called for.
For being an asshole?
That surprised me.
You would have never apologized to anyone for doing that. Lol.
So why apologize to me?
You don't get away with that Guilt trip shit,
You don't get away with that fake..Sadness bullshit,
And you don't get away with being an Asshole, Or some...
Random hopeless romantic either.
Hence why you never try them half the time.
That whole shit about you being naked in my window, I heard you talking to your Master once about how you said that I would have beat your ass if you would have anyway.
You know I don't play. Lol.

Oh, So apparently the chick Andrea's bf cheated on her with, is really ugly, Like she wont even shut up about it XD She's...Yelling and everything XD

Anyway, I wanna get fucked up..Hopefully with you :D
But I'm still self conscience about my cheek xD
I feel like...unnormal.
and with us "un-normal" People, We can't stand it when something is Physically wrong with ourselves.
It makes it seem obvious that were not normal,
And then we get Looked at twice as bad because of it.

Anyway, Were gonna go....To the dollar store, and Get a mouse, Probably Stop by your house :D
Maybe, If your not annoyed with me yet.
But trust me, All the bitch-ness, is all love dear.
Believe me :)
Love you dumbass :D